


Vinny throws Tony a lifeline

by thebutterfreeeffect



Category: You Could Make a Life Series - Taylor Fitzpatrick
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 12:43:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11104806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebutterfreeeffect/pseuds/thebutterfreeeffect
Summary: He’s afraid that this is it. He doesn’t want this to be it, with him frustrated all of the time, always waiting for Vinny to help him out, give him some kind of sign. As patient as he’s being, Vinny probably doesn’t want that either, but. This is how it’s been.(Or: Anton and Vinny go on a proper date. You might not call it a good experience.)





	Vinny throws Tony a lifeline

**Author's Note:**

> This was heavily inspired by [a short Vinny snippet](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1210375/chapters/15998911) that popped up in 2016, and it just sort of escalated from there.
> 
> A huge shoutout to [tapedeck](http://archiveofourown.org/users/tapedeck) for making the incredible accompanying playlist - seriously, it's fantastic, [make sure to check it out!](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/ycmal_mini_bang/works/11078805) \- but also for being patient with me while I tried to will this fic into existence.

Anton isn’t normally one to regret his past mistakes, or at least, he tries not to be. He’s worked hard for what he has, has generally considered his work to be correlated with his success. He’s learned enough from his mistakes that he isn’t as hung up on making them as some other guys he knows, so worried about missteps that they’re paralyzed with it.

But then, everything he does is some variation on what he already knows. He knows how to go out there and play the best hockey he can, regardless of the other variables. He knows what to expect when he goes out, when he takes a girl home. He knows how to buy a house now, which, if no other side effect of his job made him feel like an actual adult, has definitely cemented the feeling for him.

Anton has no point of reference for this. For Vinny. He dated Amanda, sure, but the only thing that he knows about that relationship was that it didn’t work, and it doesn’t help that the answer lies somewhere in between Anton thinking there was something wrong with him, and Anton maybe having feelings for Vinny the entire time.

The point is that he keeps replaying scenes in his head, trying to figure out how he could have made this work sooner. He re-imagines summers in Sudbury, sharing a room on the road, moving in together, and thinks to himself that he should have known all this time. He wonders if it would be easier if he had figured it out sooner, if there was any way he could have avoided this feeling like something foreign had slapped him across the face.

But as far as he knows, Anton is fucking up this thing with Vinny, has been fucking up since before he knew there was a thing at all.

 

Not long after their pancakes-and-grownup-talk breakfast, Vinny insists that they go on a Real and Proper Date. They’re in something of a time crunch, because suddenly it’s playoffs and they can’t afford to be distracted. Vinny started off saying that Anton couldn’t afford to be distracted, only changing it to a _we_ once Anton leveled his best glare at him.

They don’t have time once the playoffs are over, the Habs coming up short yet again, and then the two of them go their separate ways, Anton to his parents’ and Vinny to Sudbury. But Vinny has insisted multiple times on doing everything properly, and to him “properly” means finding time to go on a date before months pass and it’s the regular season again, just the same as it apparently means Vinny and Anton can’t move back in together. Anton eventually ends up flying to Sudbury. He visited Vinny last summer, and from the way his parents are going on about it it’s long past Vinny’s turn to come to Hartford instead. As wary as the Vincents make him they’re still a step up from Vladimir and Tonya, so he grouches at his parents until they leave him alone, and before long he finds himself in Sudbury once again.

For the most part Vinny’s parents have made themselves scarce outside of meal times, and it might not be on purpose but Anton is immensely grateful. He’s trying hard to avoid thinking about making eye contact with Vinny’s parents and having them look back _knowingly_. He still remembers the last time he visited. How Mrs. Vincent froze him out for something he hadn’t even known about. Vinny’s apologized on her behalf multiple times. He promises she won’t do anything like that again, but –

She has even more reason to be mad at him now than before, probably. Part of him feels like if he ruins this he’ll hear about it from Mrs. Vincent, not her son. That isn’t really fair to Vinny, who has proven himself more than willing to call Anton on his bullshit, but still. The worry is there.

 

They’re leaving soon, trying to get a head start on the dinner rush, but Vinny’s currently off somewhere on the phone with Megan. Anton assumes Vinny is telling her about the – about their plans for the evening. It’s to be expected, since Megan knew about them even before Anton did. He still feels unsettled. Megan knows about him. Vinny’s parents probably know about him. Carmen definitely knows about him. Anton’s pretty sure Fournier knows, too, and his wife. He isn’t in the habit of listening in on Vinny’s Skype conversations, but he’ll stop and greet them if he happens to catch them, and the entire family seems to have gotten more intimidating since he last saw them in person.

Maybe it’s just the kids getting older or something.

He tries to keep himself busy while he waits, but there isn’t all that much to do. He didn’t bring that many clothes with him, so it doesn’t take him much time to figure out what he’s wearing. He stares at his limited options for a long time anyway, as if that will make Vinny hurry up.

He’s just started reading hockey articles that he knows he’s not supposed to pay attention to when he hears a knock at his – Vinny’s – open door. He looks up to find Vinny standing there, smiling. Anton opens his mouth but can’t figure out what he’s trying to say. Vinny beats him to the punch.

 “You look nice,” Vinny says. Anton can feel his face heating up.

“Your face,” he starts, then cuts himself off. Vinny laughs at him. “Shut up.”

 

The restaurant they go to is nice, but it isn’t overly fancy. Vinny chose it because it has nicer food than they would normally get if they ate out, but not so nice that anyone looking their way would see two adults alone together and make _assumptions_. It isn’t particularly crowded, either. Anton thinks it will lower their chances of being recognized, right up until it occurs to him that they might blend in better in a more crowded restaurant.

In the end it doesn’t really matter. While they’re waiting for their entrees, a family at another table recognizes them, and the father ends up bringing his teenage son over to talk to them. This is nothing out of the ordinary; they’ve been interrupted at meals countless times before, but Anton’s breathing just a little too fast and his hands are clammy. He’s grateful the family seems to recognize both of them – if they’d looked past Vinny just now, Anton might have ended up punching someone. As it is, he tries to hide the way his hands shake as he pulls a card out of his wallet to sign – though he isn’t sure if he’s hiding it from Vinny or from the fans. He makes sure his fingers don’t brush Vinny’s when he hands the pen over.

“Thank you for your support,” Vinny says brightly when the fans finally leave. He turns his smile back onto Anton. Anton clings to it like a lifeline.

“Wow, Tony, I think they thought you’d never seen a fan before in your life. Why so nervous?”

“I’m not nervous,” Anton snaps, knee-jerk. Vinny falls silent and Anton stews, furious with himself.

The rest of the meal is awkward, eaten with barely any words between them. They’re used to spending time in each others’ company without needing to talk, but this silence nearly consumes Anton whole. Vinny keeps starting opening his mouth to say something, then cutting himself off. More than once, Anton considers begging him to just say whatever he was thinking, but he doesn’t. He keeps his eyes turned down and shovels food in his mouth, barely tasting it at all.

 

They don’t end up going to the movie. Vinny took one look at Anton (or rather, several looks, they’ve been looking and glancing away from each other all evening) and quietly announced that he didn’t feel like seeing a movie after all, could they go home now? Anton doesn’t know what makes him feel worse: that he’d been so ready to call it quits or that he’d been so obvious that Vinny had made such an unsubtle effort to save his pride.

It’s not even as though the film itself was a big deal – there weren’t a lot of movies out that the two of them were both interested in, and this one was a compromise neither of them were too excited about. In the car on the way back, Vinny keeps going on about how the movie doesn’t matter, how they set out to make a proper evening of it and still had a really nice date –

“Would you stop calling it that?” Anton says, and he expects Vinny to look vaguely amused like he normally does when it comes up, but he glances over and Vinny seems hurt.

“But that’s what it was,” Vinny says.

 

The night ends without any other incident, mostly because Anton has restricted his actions to fuming silently at himself and getting ready for bed. Thankfully, Vinny leaves him alone for the most part. When Anton wakes up the next morning, he shuts off his alarm and doesn’t move for five whole minutes. He has some vague hope that Vinny will get up before him, but that’s next to impossible given how much Vinny likes to sleep in during the off-season.

“Breakfast, Tony?” Vinny mumbles beside him. His voice is still rough with sleep, but something in his voice makes Anton hear “breakfast” and think “talking like grown-ups again”.

He shoots out of bed. “I’m going for a run first.”

 

By the time he gets back, Vinny’s nearly finished making breakfast. It’s a pretty clear sign that Anton’s not allowed to go upstairs, not without eating and definitely not while trying to avoid Vinny. Still, it’s a small mercy that Vinny does let him finish eating before he says, “Can you tell me what happened?” like anything happened, like this is anything other than Anton making an ass of himself over nothing.

He doesn’t know where to begin. “Nothing happened.”

“We do this kind of thing all the time and it’s fine, but yesterday – yesterday wasn’t fine. Did I do something?” Vinny asks, but he doesn’t say it like he’s scared or guilty. He says it like he’s analyzing, searching for a solution. Anton doesn’t know how to answer that, so he just shakes his head. “Then what happened?”

He doesn’t trust himself to speak at the moment. If he opens his mouth he’ll say something rude again, something he’ll regret. Sooner or later Vinny is going to run out of his endless patience for what comes out of Anton’s mouth when he’s nervous or defensive. Right now, though, silence might have been the wrong option.

“I think you should tell a grown-up about you and me.”

"Vin, we’ve been over this. We're grown-ups."

"Anton. Please. I have Fourns to talk to about us. I have Meg." Anton doesn't know if it's coincidence or if he's truly that considerate, but Vinny doesn't mention Carmen. "They keep telling me that they have my back, but that makes me wonder if anybody has yours. It's good to have someone to talk to who isn't me, especially when you're freaking out about me. I promise."

Anton doesn't want to talk to someone else. He wants Vinny, but that isn't the more pressing matter at the moment. Apparently Vinny has been freaking out about him, has been telling Fournier everything, has - Something twists inside his stomach. Before he can say anything, though, Vinny adds, "Besides, I think Lapointe's been waiting his whole life to be someone's personal relationship champion," and then laughs at the look on Anton's face. Anton manages a smile, remembering all of the times Lapointe sat down next to Vinny, clearly intent on starting something, only for Vinny to escape as fast as he could without looking rude.

“But seriously, Tony,” Vinny says, interrupting his train of thought. “You should have someone to talk to.”

Anton pauses to consider this, and for a moment he allows himself to envision calling Depardieu, telling him about Vinny. Envisions telling _Lapointe_. The thought horrifies him, and it must show, because Vinny sighs quietly and says, “I guess not.”

And here it is again: Vinny is looking disappointed when before he’d had a hopeful look on his face. Anton can’t stand that, can’t handle Vinny still being upset about the disaster that was yesterday. “Look. Can we just-” He cuts himself off abruptly, eyes averted, casting about for anything they can do other than talk about this. He wishes he hadn’t just come back from a run so he could use one as an escape now. He glances back at Vinny, because Vinny always knows what to do while Anton is stumbling through the dark.

“Well,” Vinny says, and Anton is immediately grateful before he even knows what Vinny is about to say. “You really need to take a shower.” And it’s something about that, about Vinny telling him to get on with what he was going to do anyway, that finally makes him feel relieved.

Anton ends up going grocery shopping, not because the Vincents are in dire need of anything, but just because he’ll get antsy if he doesn’t leave the house at all today. He puts gas in his car and signs one autograph at the gas station.

When he gets back, he runs into Mrs. Vincent on her way out the door. She grins brightly at him. Vinny says he hasn’t said anything to them, but when Anton does talk to them they’re both suspiciously friendly. Then again, they created Thomas Vincent, so he supposes they’re expected to have a higher than average capacity for friendliness.

She gives him a weird look after he says hello to her, like every time he goes out by himself there must be something up with him and Vinny. The look passes, though, either because she sees from the bags in his hands that he was running errands or because the excessive friendliness is hard to erase.

“How are you and Vinny doing?” she asks after saying hello back.

“I – what?” Vinny’s her son. She can ask him how he’s doing. “Fine.”

She gives him another appraising look. She hasn’t said anything direct, but it’s easy to make assumptions. Anton and Vinny are sharing a room, after all – she didn’t comment on whatever bullshit reason Vinny gave for why he wasn’t taking the couch like he normally does when Anton visits.

Anton loves Vinny’s mom, and she hasn’t done anything out of the ordinary, but he’s still relieved when she finally leaves him alone.

When he goes inside, Vinny is in the kitchen again. Anton would think that he hadn’t moved at all, but the dishes are all put away and he has his laptop with him. Apparently Fournier is on Skype. Anton goes to hide in Vinny’s room – though he does leave the door open. He’s still restless, like he had something to do today that he hasn’t accomplished. He could go to sleep, but instead he puts on a movie on his laptop and tries his best to pay attention to it.

Forty-five minutes in, Vinny appears at his open door, and relief floods through Anton. Vinny deposits himself at Anton’s side, curling against him, and Anton switches over wordlessly from the movie that he doesn’t give a shit about to the sitcom that he and Vinny had been slowly wading through. For what might be the first time since he got to Sudbury, Anton finally feels himself relaxing.

They don’t even make it through one episode before Anton drifts off to sleep, but when he wakes up, Vinny is still there by his side.

He fumbles for his alarm in the dark. It’s early, way earlier than he would normally wake up, but he isn’t going anywhere. He curls into Vinny’s side and stays there. Eventually, Vinny stirs. “Hi Tony,” he says.

“Hi Vinny,” Anton says. In the morning they aren’t usually awake at the same time, so sharing a bed after waking is an unsettling experience that Anton thinks he’s immediately addicted to. Time slips by while they lie in companionable quiet, until he starts to feel like maybe the silence is his to fill.

“I’m scared of getting caught,” Anton finally admits, his voice low. He’s sure Vinny already knows this, it isn’t a huge leap to make, but he has to say it. “I know it looks the same in public, but I don’t feel like it is. If I can tell the difference, then who says they can’t?”

Part of him wants Vinny to stop him, to say that it wasn’t worth the effort, to admit that somewhere between them lies a mistake. But Vinny doesn’t say anything. He just watches Anton try to fit his thoughts into something that makes sense.

“I don’t want to do it because I’ll fuck it up, but then you’re with me and I still want to. Um.”

“Date me?” Vinny finishes. His voice has a smile in it somewhere, which is ridiculous, but it’s Vinny, so it fits.

Anton nods.

“In that case,” Vinny says, the slight tremor in his voice at odds with his bright, genuine smile, “shall we try again?”

Suddenly, Anton is overwhelmed by just how brave Vinny is. The last two days have been dismal for both of them, even more so because the problem lay between them. A more cowardly man than Vinny would have given up. Hell, Anton had been so scared that he would give up, would change his mind. But here Vinny is throwing Anton the most beautiful smile he’s ever seen, offering him a second date, a second chance.

His voice is stuck in his throat, so he nods. “Please,” he manages eventually. Vinny’s smile, if at all possible, grows even brighter. They’re still sharing the same bed, but his whole body hurts with the need to have Vinny closer. Maybe it shows on his face, because Vinny leans in and kisses him on the corner of his mouth. Before Vinny can pull away Anton grabs his wrist, pulls him back in. He’s completely overwhelmed, but he can’t drag his eyes away from Vinny’s: warm, kinder in this moment than Anton deserves. He kisses Vinny again, more thoroughly this time, almost allowing himself to get lost in it before he remembers himself and stops.

“Fuck, sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“No, it’s fine,” Vinny says. His voice sounds kind of distant.

“But you don’t want-”

“It’s fine,” Vinny insists. “Tony, I like kissing you.”

And this has been one of the hardest things for him to get around – Vinny likes kissing him, somehow, but he doesn’t want him. Then again, Anton supposes it’s the same for him, but Vinny doesn’t want anyone. Vinny can keep reassuring him, but he still feels wrong-footed, like he’s going to stumble straight over one of Vinny’s boundaries at any moment and neither of them are going to be able to see it coming.

But that isn’t it. Right now, Vinny looks utterly content to be in Anton’s arms.

“If something’s wrong, I’ll tell you,” Vinny says quietly, and Anton saves this and tucks it away for later. He’s still scared, but he believes Vinny more than he’s afraid of himself, and at the moment that’s enough.

“I know.”


End file.
